This week's bloggy moms writer's workshop prompt has us write using the following words or emotions that those of us who have kids going back to school feel at this time of year:Nostalgia, boredom, relief, sadness, melancholia, excitement.
I look at her maneuvering her day independently. She is gorgeous. Big brown eyes with long eyelashes and an infectious laugh. Her nose crinkles up when she laughs and her eyes brighten and open wide. I see her plan her day, grabbing the keys and driving off to a new adventure. Making her own decisions and beginning the new chapter to her life by filling out college applications.
My heart aches for that little girl with the bouncy curls. The little girl who liked sitting next to me while I read her her favorite book. Wistful for the days when I helped plan her day, play dates, outings to the zoo, library books to read and movies to watch. Longing for the little girl who needed me and wanted to be with me 24/7. The hugs and kisses and 'momma I love you, color with me, read me this book, again", and again.
Nostalgic for the baby smell, you know that baby Johnson clean baby smell. The deep inhale that you take when snuggling that baby on your shoulder. Inhaling deeply that section between the ear and shoulder, smelling the sweet smell of baby sweat, that indescribable smell. Deep inhale...remember that smell?
Now when I'm allowed to hug her, I inhale the big girl sweaty smell after dance practice. Kisses and hugs before bedtime smell like Herbal Essence shampoo and Nutregena face lotion.
Yearning for that little hand that could barely fit into mine. That hand that is now bigger than mine, wears brightly colored nail polish and a bracelet with sparkly bling.
My heart aches for that little girl, but leaps for joy at the young woman growing before my eyes.