Friday, May 11, 2012

Trying to Pause and Pray

Source: via Daniela on Pinterest
Raising teenage girls is hard.  When girls are little they let you dress them, they adore you, and want to be with you all the time!  Teenage girls are a different story, they think you are weird, dress funny, talk and laugh to loud and don’t want to have anything to do with you.  Which for me, a motherless daughter since the age of six, is really hard to accept.  Since I was so young when my mother died, I have idealized visions of what our relationship would have been like.  She would come over for coffee, help
me out with the girls when I needed her, essentially be there for me with unconditional love.  I know, I’m transferring that idealized vision onto my girls and it’s not fair to them.
So that said, it hurts when harsh words are thrown my way.  Deep down I know that its raging hormones and a normal developmental milestone.  I used to scream back in anger and say “you don't know how lucky you are to have a mother!”  They don’t need that.  When anger strikes I try and pause and say a little prayer “Lord, don’t let me say anything I’ll regret.  Lord give me words of kindness”.  Pausing and praying has helped, my voice remains calm and kind words come out of my mouth. 
But aren’t teenagers like toddlers?  When a two-year old is having a temper tantrum screaming and yelling at the child doesn’t help.  A hug, pat on the back and kind words help calm the storm.
I found the following poem after reading Allison Carmen’s post “A tip for a quieter home pause before you get angry.”  I’m going to copy it on card stock paper and place it on the fridge to I can read it often and remember to pause.
Before you leap out of bed in a hurry. Pause. Give thanks.
Before you take a bite or a sip. Pause. Enjoy.
When someone cuts you off on the way to work. Pause. Let go.
After you ask ‘how are you?’ Pause. Care.
As stress begins to overwhelm you. Pause. Breathe.
Before you take it all so seriously. Pause. Laugh.
Before you’re quick to give advice. Pause. Listen.
Before you turn on the TV. Pause. Connect.
When you feel your evening is slipping by. Pause. Be.
Before you say good night. Pause. Love.
Before you close your eyes. Pause. Dream.
Poem from