Monday, May 14, 2012

Day Before…Mother’s Day

I lost my mother when I was six years old…she died in a car accident.  Every now and then the days gearing up to Mother’s Day are very emotional.  I miss what I didn’t have-the unconditional love of a mother. Teenage drama was filling our home.  Slammed doors, and ‘just leave me alone’ was swirling in the air.  My expectations of a happy, fun-filled, drama-less, sweet to each other, let’s sit on the sofa and talk, mother’s day were soon diminishing. 
It didn't help watching this video from Every mother Counts.
“The Every Mother Counts is an advocacy and mobilization campaign to increase education and support for maternal mortality reduction globally.” After reading this pice on the Huffington Post, I went to the web site to find out how I can help. This years campaign was calling for a ‘no mothers day’. No letters, phone calls, emails or gifts during mothers day so that family and friends can feel what is like not to have am other. As much as I wanted to participate in the campaign, I just couldn’t. I know what it’s been like to live without a mother and didn't want to subject my family to that.
Mass was planned for Saturday and the words I heard in anger were ‘why do we have to go’, ‘I have going’!  After asking to find us a seat, as we entered the church, all I heard was: "why do I have to’, ‘I don’t feel like it’!  Finding a seat and then kneeling in prayer I prayed for kind words and wisdom to forgive their hormonal outburst.  Sitting down I opened up the bulleting and came upon this poem. 
Mother’s Love
There are times when only a mother’s love
Can understand our tears,
Can soothe our disappointments
And calm all of our fears.  There are times when only a mothers faith
Can help us on life’s way
An inspire in us the confidence
We need from day to day.
For a mother’s heart and a mother’s faith
And a mothers steadfast love
Were fashioned by the angels
And sent from God above.
Michael O. Adesamya
Tears filled my eyes, longing for what I never had. I’m lucky, yes, I did have six years worth of love, but I wanted more, needed and still need more! I prayed for the loss of my mother, guidance on how to truly mother those girls in the way HE needs me to mother them, for thanksgiving of all that I do have, and that I can give my girls the kind of love described in the poem!. Leaving mass I felt better, but was ready to call off mother’s day.  Did I?  Come back tomorrow!